When I stated before that I ignored writing for a decade, that isn’t entirely true. I still wrote in stutter stops here and there. I had given up on the hope of being a writer with a capital “w,” but I could never shake the need to write. More often than not, my writing devolved into personal essays about being a writer without a story.
Just a few weeks ago, I started this blog up as a source of accountability to work towards my writing goal, but I still had the phrase bouncing around in my head “you have no story.” The journals and notebooks above have stories and topics and ideas that I’ve written down for the last seven years. None of the ideas could gain traction, and each time a topic spun my wheels, I dug myself deeper in the hole of confusion.
How can someone be a writer without a story to tell?
One of my main focuses of this blog is to point my writing back to God. He is the one who gave me the dream to write, and I honestly can say that I believe God had me wait ten years to write so I could face anyone and say, “my writing progress is ONLY because of God.” For the last several years – even since 18 months ago when I felt God calling me to write – I still was thinking that I would be able to write based off of my own power, my own intelligence, my own creativity. But, I’ve been relying on that and going nowhere.
I wrote in my journal not long ago, “God, if you want me to write, give me a story.”
And two nights ago he did.
I haven’t started writing it yet, but I know what the whole thing is about, which is a first for me. It’s a story that I’ve had for ten years and didn’t realize that I had it. It’s a fictional story that is based on a very real experience in my life. And it’s an experience that I’ve wrestled with and an experience that I know needs to be told. I didn’t realize that this was MY story to tell until I prayed for a story.
And, no, I’m not going to reveal anything more about it now, but I want everyone to know that this is the story that God has given me to tell, and it’s only by Him that I will be able to write it.